- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
- How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
- I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
- Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
- What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
- Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- Ill call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
- What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
- I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
- The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
- Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.
- This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
- Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, “No, just leave it in the carton!”
- 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
- Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”
- What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
Health > Dad Jokes of the month
Dad Jokes of the month
October 3, 2019