THE TOP 20 THINGS YOUR MOM WILL NEVER SAY

1.  If everyone else is doing it I guess it’s okay.

2.  Yep, it’s too hot in the house. Go ahead and turn up the air conditioning.

3.   Don’t worry about curfew. If you’re with your friends, I know you’re all right.

4.  You know, when you get right down to it, I am your cleaning lady!

5.  Forget about your homework. There’ll be plenty of time to do it later.

6.   If you don’t stop crying, I’m going to cave and give you anything you want.

7.  Keep the door open! We need to let the neighborhood see what we are doing.

8.  Just because you live under my roof doesn’t mean you have to listen to everything I say.

9.  You’re right. You don’t have enough clothes. Here’s my credit card. You’d better go shopping right away.

10.  Sweetie, I really need your opinion…

11.  Just because you were too sick to go to school today doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with your friends now.

12.  If you can’t say something nice about a person, text it.

13.  I’m not doing this for your own good. I’m doing it because I feel like it.

14.  To tell you the truth, I can’t really tell when you’re lying to me.

15.  When you get there, you get there. No need to call.

16.  You know, I really do care who started it and, yes, you have my permission to end it.

17.  Those starving children in Ethiopia? They wouldn’t eat this crap either.

18.  Don’t worry about going to church. You were out too late last night.

19.  Let’s wait and see if your socks pick themselves up first.

20.  Actually, I am made out of money!